Category: Narcissism

My daughter came home Friday from camp, and just like that she’s gone again for two weeks after I put her on the plane to visit her Grandparents. I’m not sure what would have made Saturday a perfect day but it was a pretty good day punctuated by my ex-wife leaving everything to the last minute and giving me the general impression that she’s unreliable. That said, by the end, she did come through because she is actually very competent when she focuses and shows some care, like for her daughter (which matters to her) as opposed to my peace of mind (which she couldn’t care less about).

A few weeks ago, I taught Sunday School. Everyone in the class is supposed to teach part of the curriculum, and my topic was about Angels and Demons. A difficult topic for Presbyterians, who tend to feel comfortable with the idea of bearing the cross and of being a disciple because these are physical. All things non-corporeal and beyond human comprehension of a physical reality tend to make them totally freak out. Personally, I see a lot of parallel between the earthly mission of Christians; imperfect though it may be in execution, and the spirtual mission of the heavenly hosts. “Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?” Heb. 1:14

Anyhow, it was easier for me to talk about Demons, and the suffering inflicted by the confusion and line-blurring they do. My favorite passage in the Bible is the ultimate confrontation between good and evil in this vein is Lk 4:1-14

And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing during those days. And when they were ended, he was hungry. The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” And Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone.'”

And the devil took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time, and said to him, “To you I will give all this authority and their glory, for it has been delivered to me, and I give it to whom I will. If you, then, will worship me, it will all be yours.”

And Jesus answered him, “It is written,

“‘You shall worship the Lord your God,
and him only shall you serve.'”

And he took him to Jerusalem and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for it is written,

“‘He will command his angels concerning you,
to guard you,’

and

“‘On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.'”

And Jesus answered him, “It is said, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.'” And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.

This is my favorite passage of the Bible first of all, because it shows that Jesus felt the same temptations that I felt and the same way that I feel them.  Satan tempts Jesus with what he wants.  Jesus is physically hungry.  He yearns to lead mankind, which has forsaken him. And his deepest fear is the painful death that he understands awaits him.  And Satan tries to trick him with technical arguments and rhetoric.  But Jesus is all substance. Substance means you man up and take it, for the good of those you love, even at the cost of your own discomfort.

Still, I wonder. I wonder because, I’m a fool. I don’t know if I’m doing harm or good sometimes. And I just can’t man up like Jesus (no one can). 

What am I supposed to do with the empty nest?
Is this loneliness teaching me something or telling me to find someone or is it just tempting me to go do bad or does it mean nothing at all?
My ex broke her vows, but at the height of my sorrow, I forgave her. What does that mean? 
I think its okay to have a gay ex-wife, and for everyone to move on during their life. But what happens in then end? The answer seems to be, not what we expect because we know nothing. Observe Matt. 22: 23-33

The same day Sadducees came to him,who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said,’If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up children for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no children left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.”

 But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead, but of the living.” And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching.

 Christ wants me to move on and do his work.  But I don’t know what that is yet. So I have to be patient.  In the mean time, I can suffer temptation, lonliness and sorrow.  I can drown myself in work, or delight in my care of my children, or I can go sing. But the questions don’t go away. Nor the doubts that I’m not doing the right thing.  That’s the difference between Angels and man.  Angels know exactly what their mission is, and they go ahead and do it. Man’s perception is incomplete and made more difficult with distractions both of pure evil and of its own making.

So what are the answers?  I have none. I guess that means it is… time for lyrics.  This is from “The Gorillaz”

In These Demon Days It So Cold Inside
 So Hard For A Good Soul To Survive
 You Can’t Even Trust The Air You Breathe, Cuz

Mother Earth Wants Us All To Leave
 When Lies Become Reality 
 You Numb Yourself with drugs and TV

Pick Yourself Up Its A Brand New Day
Don’t Turn Yourself Round, Don’t Burn Yourself
Turn Yourself, Turn Yourself Around Into The Sun