The kids have been back for the last few weeks and so has terrible fear. Fear that things will go wrong at work. Fear that my ex will try to change our deal and will make my life miserable. Fear that illness will strike. Fear that my son will open the door to a stranger while I am on the toilet.
Tuesday night I had a dream that spiders were crawling all over a document that I was supposed to review for work and Ving Rhames and Dwight Eisenhower really wanted the document. I think they were my client. Anyhow, they were like “C’mon… take care of this!”
I’ve signed up for a Sunday school class this fall about courage. It’s corny, I know, but what am I supposed to do with this faith? My fears are indicia of my love for the world, and for my sinful pride in my own ability to fix things.
It not been all inky blackness. The kids have been wonderful and we are getting ready to go on vacation.
...All my darkest hours talking like this... 